True DC Story: Barack Obama

So here I am having to give a little expose on our new president Mr. Barack H. Obama. Now I wasn't going to do this but he interrupted my regularly scheduled programming (House) for his little news conference. He could've waited until 9 like everybody favorite president George H. W. Bush, but no Obama had to be different, but I digress...

Now as you already know Obama had a landslide victory against McCain and crew but it wasn't just because he had a better idea than McCain. Oh no there's more to it than that. Way more.
First off when hasn't running for any office he was doing "community reforms". All he really did was go to the hood smoked some dro and bought a little coke to sell it later to Bush. He told all them niggas he was smokin with that he was going to be president soon so get out there and vote to make sure I get there. Now that's the obvious part.

Now what's not so obvious (to the females at least) that while on the campaign trail he was banging at least 10 women per stop and told them to vote for me. After he got done with them, those young thundercats (as a good friend of mines like to call them, Delo) told their friends that what they and so on and so on, they wanted to vote for that man.

And another point, if you didn't know Obama took no public funding for his campaign only private. Well of course you know the fundraisers he had but what u don't are those million dollar coke deals he made with the Colombians and 100 million dollar marijuana deals he made with the iraqis. Talk about a bailout plan...how else u think he's getting all this money.

Well folks there you have it (for now) part 1 of many of True DC Story...next time: Michelle and Joey B.: How They Do It

CB and Rihanna

Ok so everybody knows about Chris Brown getting arrested right? And how people think its because hit gave Rihanna a nice, plump black eye. Well this here is the complete story.

Chris did hit Rihanna but it is only because that broad gave him the clap (?gonerhea?). Now she got it from the big man in charge, the Jigga man himself, Jay-Z. Jay got it from his wifey, Beyonce "I steal careers" Knowles-Carter. Now you're wondering where could have the good girl got the clap from? She got it from the most obvious personN Jamie "I get bitches" Foxx.

Hmmmm, kinda interesting right? There's more...

Jamie got his STD from Gabriel Union. Now the way that happen is when they were at a small L.A. party where Mr. Foxx got a little tipsy and he thought Ms. Union was Fancy from his show.

Now for Gabby to get it is quite simple. She got it from Dwayne "I sercretly get bitches" Wade, who got it from some random groupie when he was married.

And there you have it folks the complete story on why Chris "Take You Down (no homo)" Brown gave "I'm a broke gold digger" Rihanna a nice plump black eye.


EDIT UPDATE WHATEVER: now what has been said about cb actual beating the s**t out of rihanna (bloody nose, bite marks, possible concussion) is true or not whatever happen cb might have gotten out of line but ladies u must know if you start throwing punches and whatnot at us men please expect for at least some body part come your way. All the men don't hit women is kinda thrown out the window when it comes down to self denfense cause rihanna is a very in shape young women who punches will actual do damage if they land. But all in all if Chris actual beat rihanna into submission that is out of line and he should be punished but if somebody gave u herpes or any std what would you do?